Haih...Why WHY?? why is my result always so cha?? look at that mei seong!!taking something which she had never done in her life and getting...over 3???!! Great mother of ****!! How freaking unfair can this be?? Fine fine, I admit, though reluctantly, the faults lies in me...If only I'm more hardworking a bit, smarter a bit, responsible a bit,-hmm, maybe boot in less blur too??- then mayhaphs no one will be disappointed in me anymore..ever again..
Ever since I came to form 6, my life takes a drastic change..Not saying all are bad, there are lots of goods too!!for eg, I'm getting closer to God more and I can feel Him much stronger in my heart now... kudos!! Maybe not yet to the extend in hearing him talking, but He sending His words to me through dreams!!I mean, how cool is that?? Literally dreams coming true!!
But I din know how much am I to suffer in His name..No i am not blaming Him, coz i know- it's my fault and the blame lies entirely on me alone..I am a born catholic, and I used to take God for granted, something as necessary as doing homework(which i rarely do anyways)... but all those were a thing of past ever since I rededicated my life to God about 3 months ago, with help from a friend(U know who u r)..And I firmly believe that to truly know God takes time and effort. So whats wrong wiv me to grow at my own pace, albeit slower? I got my whole life to know God, whats the matter if I take this initial stage-say, 3 years?-to know Him truly and deeply? I need to experience problems like backsliding, doubting, temptation and to understand the purpose of my life, so I can be drawn closer to Him. To struggle through this time of trouble with God by my side, so I have the faith and strength to plod on even though all odds are against me..
Experiencing God is like experiencing true love, bible had always stress on that. Many of us have this tendency to want skip over awkward stages of getting to know God and develop intimacy as soon as possible.. But if you skip this important stage, you dun really get to know God, and before you get to experience God's great love, that small flame of passion you had just go *kaput*, and you just get to know the fantasy,who you THINK God is.. Right??
This is all my unbiased opinion on experiencing intimacy with God. I trust in God that all the problems I'm facing now is for me to grow roots and gain wisdom and experience. Experience, I heard, is the greatest teacher one can ever have..And yes, it has taught me not to doubt God's promises and His words in a most amazing way..so am I to change this view of mine to suit yours instead?
