Philosophy... discovery of self?

“We’ll be doing writing today, so take out your article about Socrates”, Mr Edmund Chan’s voice boomed around the classroom. Yawn. He and his everlasting Socrates again...(he pronounced it as So.cra.tes, unlike us who sturbornly insisted it’s pronounces as So.crates, no matter how many times he tried to correct us... fruitlessly...). Philosophy obviously is not my cup of tea, this is gonna be one freaking long period. And drat, I was right. Hmm, no wonder he was condemned to death (Mr Socrates I mean, not Mr Chan). See, even when he is dead and gone more than 2000 years ago he still can put us to sleep, just visualize the time when he was alive. He probably could stun you and bore you to death whenever he opens his mouth. No surprise then that the citizens of Athens thought he was a menace to the society. I mean, it must be quite tedious having to collect corpses in his wake all the time, coz I’m sure that man won’t stop nagging talking.

Heck, I don’t need to be told how to live my life by a dead man.

Or so I thought. Until (?by chance?) I stumbled upon The Consolation of Philosophy that recounts his life history. His ideas and the way he lead his life makes me reflect upon my own way of life. Philosophy had always been boring+yawning=sleeping to me. But reading about him makes me realize how bias I was toward philosophy. Fine fine, I’m evil, I admit it... So stop smirking, let’s continue...

Socrates was said to be the only man in Athens who ever displayed great kindness and curiosity towards others. He was everything that is good, yet being judge evil by people of the likes of me (see? I aM confessing). Most importantly, he was able to maintain confidences and refuse to renounce what he believed in, even when being confronted with rejection, opposition and even death. This struck me forcefully, how much my behavior differs from this remarkable man. Me...I constantly sought for support from everybody including those without full understanding; in conversations, my priority is to be liked rather than saying what I think is right. And how many times had I stifled my thoughts and doubts and follow the flocks like a giddy goat desperate for approval? Yar, blind follower plus attention sucker to boot!! But Mr Socrates...he is like, like, poles apart from me!!! Socrates was a just man who performed right actions but was sentenced to death like a criminal...Yet he proved that physical suffering and death could not prevent happiness. To him, doing what he believed in, and acting upon it, was the essences of happiness... He had not buckled before unpopularity and condemnation of the state. He had not retracted his believe just because others complained. And he had taught me an important lesson: that errors in [our] thoughts and way of life can at no point and no way ever be proven, simply by the fact we run into resistance. What should we worry us is not the number of people oppose us, but rather, how good their reasons for doing so.

*Sigh*... Alas, for the last part, it is easier said than done. Social life is, regrettably, constantly beset with disparities between others perception of us (in other words, people’s opinion of us) and our reality (our true self)... Just take me for example, on how many occasion had my isolation was mistaken as depression? Or my shyness as haughtiness? Even my laughing can be taken as insecurity, cacated... Feel like kicking them on their butt, see whether they dare cincai speculate I’m insecure again onot...huh!! And Socrates story echoes the hurt and pain which many of us encounter in the hands of people with different perspectives and who are unwilling to do us justices. Simply because these people do not like their perception of the world to be changed.
*Scoff*... Craps and curses to this people lar!! In nature selection they’ll die DIE!!!!!!!

But Socrates asked us never to cease questioning, so we will know what we believe in. Thus we will not be easily persuaded, not easily propagandized. And then you will find happiness, for happiness is when you understand yourself, to know what you truly desire, and simply to be...yourself. You see, there are always two diverse ways of thoughts. To illustrate, just visualize ‘thoughts’ as two ends of the temperature of a thermometer... Some people like it low, some like it high and some fancy it lukewarm - there are always different preferences of temperature for different kind people. And it is up to us to find the ideal temperature that suits us best, what we feel is right, because it is us and us alone, that is going to live this life in this world...

...to be what we believe in.

And that’s the magic...believing.

There is one thing I would like to share. You know, there is one belief of mine that nobody could ever change till today...I believe there is only one and universal God, and I believe he exist everywhere, in everybody, just that He is called in many different name, thus existing in many different forms. And I don’t mean forms as in figurines which are like deities equivalent to prophets. I mean the form as how we outline him in our hearts, in various ways of prayers. God has the best purpose and plans for our lives that we must pursue, and He is forever there waiting for us -for the right time, for the right moment- to discover him. I believe discovering God, in whatever way, means discovering the truth and understanding of the soul. For when you discover God, you discover yourself. When you discover yourself, you will discover what your heart truly desire...

...and when a person really knows him or herself, a person who understands their true potential, such a person will leave their mark in the world; for the world will be a better place, just because such a person had lived there.... The person who speaks for justice and honor, for compassion and understanding, such a person speaks for all Mankind. One brave act of true compassion can undo a hundred works of the devil; one loving gesture wipes away the tears of humanity.... It will never be too late to understand our soul, so long as people learn to act from the heart, and not from greed for riches or lust of power. For, at the heart of us all, each and every one of us, there is a grain of pure Gold. The Gold is the Self, that Gold is called Love. And where Love is, God is...

“...We each are different, you know. We are different from each other as a fish is different from a bird and a bird is different from a bear. Could a bird swim? Could a bear fly? Don’t try to make others like yourself, but rather try to discover who you really are. Then...you will be yourself-and no one else. Then...you will indeed be...gold.”

The Magician House Quartet: The Door in the Tree.

Happy Easter everyone!